#267: How to hold your nerve
When youāre confident everything is covered, what could be missing?
Itās that time of the month when a flurry of emails arrive in the Inbox politely reminding me that a bunch of lit mags and contests are ending at the end of the month, and that it is time to polish my work to send. I donāt need to be told this. The amount of work I have out right now is the most weāve managed all year. Iāve not had an acceptance since the end of June, which was published in July.
The vast majority of people trying to give back to the community by producing such guides have no real need for them. Many have publishing contracts, agents and a well-established network of fellow creatives with whom to find work from. What happens when thatās not you and however hard you try, your work is not getting the interest or the recognition you know is possible?
How do you hold your nerve and not implode during the silence?
It is REALLY hard to find confidence when surrounded by everybody else who (appears) to be doing better than you are. The fact remains that success is now so subjective that using it as a benchmark is largely detrimental, and yet thatās all I see and read of late. Thereās a minuscule portion of the community making the amount of money from poetry Iād consider liveable on right now.
EVERYBODY else has a side gig several or is lucky enough to be supported whilst they create. A vast number are full-time carers. Lots of poets are teaching it, or lecturing about it, or educating people about it tooā¦ the first thing I always do when working out how not to overstress about silence is that reality check. Social media is only telling you the successes. Failure is rarely spoken of.
That is something that REALLY needs to change going forward.
So, what CAN you do? You can stop looking at the Internet, for starters, which might seem a bit odd as thatās what youāre doing nowā¦ but honestly, to make things happen requires more than the rest of the World to listen. Itās the thing youāre never told about because all these online spaces need to keep you here to make money. You should be out, in your communities, looking for other poets.
The one connecting factor that pulls all these successful poets together into spaces like Substack, X or Bluesky is their success elsewhere. It is the time and effort theyāve put into establishing themselves in reality BEFORE theyāve come here and made it all look effortless. It was a while before it was obvious to me that this is how you stay sane doing this job: in my case, itās performance in real life and NOT on Zoom thatās kept my head in the game over the last year.
I have my first headline set coming up in the real world since starting this journey.
I donāt get paid for it, but one day I might. It is part of a series of events Iām involving myself in where there is no cash as the end result, but the networking possibilities are significant. I began a new Journey at the Arts Collective, thereās networking next week at a theatre in the City. If you want to be a success as a poet, it is about being everywhere, all the time. It is about being seen and heard.
That can begin in your local community. There are countless opportunities to write and network, and if youāre not lucky enough to have these spaces pre-made where you live, this could be an opportunity. You could be the person who starts a Poetry Group at the library, or asks around to see if anyone else fancies doing a Zoom where you read and critique each otherās work.
You could be the person who ends up changing other peopleās lives.
As I sit here thinking about how life is never quite how you expect it to be until you stop worrying and start living, it occurs to me that best definition of success is knowing how to use it best to make you happy. If that is purely and simply to reward you with adulation and a bigger bank balance, Iād argue youāre not worthy enough. Those people rarely listen anyway, so the point is moot.
Remember that the people asking you to buy into their online realities are never really selling you the real truth, and make sure your success is never defined by them alone. Work widely, and always remember that it costs nothing to alter a personās life to the good, simply by being the one who listens and helps. Your true future lies everywhere: it takes time, and it takes patience.
Hold your nerve. Find the potential within you to move forward.