Last night I spent the evening surrounded by a group of people who want to to feel better about themselves and saw the adverts my Gym ran for a series of talks from a Mindset and Motivation Coach. All the people in the room were engaged and aware of their own shortcomings. Everybody left more animated and relaxed than they arrived, so in that regard this is already a successful beginning…
If I’d been aware of this kind of support nearly a decade ago, I know that the journey I’ve made to here would have been significantly different. However, I accept enough about regret now to not dwell on the consequence. I sincerely hope that everyone who needs something from this space over the next six months can find it in a manner which is both supportive and transformational.
However, for any counselling to have value you must be able to alter yourself.
As previously acknowledged, this is not a period of travel. This time now is a stop at a significant crossroads. It’s apparent I’m not in the middle of nowhere, this is not some blasted moor with a weather-worn signpost pointing out the potential directions to pursue. This is a village, full of life and people and the potential to provide me with a place to stay for a while. There are people I like here.
Some are artists, others are practical people: ready to repair, to make and improve what I bring to their spaces. I need to listen to all of them, and absorb the advice and guidance they are offering, and then decisions can be made. Eventually it will be time to leave, but for now this tired and lonely traveller is grateful for the human connections. It has been far too long on the road.
Last night, I was validated in the most significant manner for some time.
A lot of what has been accomplished alone was presented to me last night as the right way forward. It was not simply satisfying to see it laid out so clearly, but a very emotional experience that was well managed in a crowded space. There was even a version of the ‘change’ graphic that has sat on my notice board for the best part of five years on show. Visual metaphors are potent currency.
There are still things to do. There will always be things to fix, and when some things are so completely flawed as to be irredeemable, you are forced to occasionally to rearrange everything. My wish is that it would be possible to reach more people who know there is something wrong but cannot tell you why, whose lives are ruled by their own fear of the possibility they possess.
I am still that person sometimes. Perhaps I am never supposed to be anything else.
For now I will find a place to stay at this crossroads: just a bed will do, and an inn in which to eat and drink. As my confidence grows we will find artisans to talk to and things to learn from them and maybe, in time, a new direction will make itself apparent. Until it does, we will reflect, and consider, and use this time to treat the fresh wounds that have uncovered from last night’s event.
Every day is a school day, kids.